I am sure we all have them, our forgotten friends. That sounds like a cruel way to describe people that once held such an important role in our lives, but I can think of no better title for them. I am referring to the people who were in our lives as friends for a time we needed them or they needed us, but as life takes you in different directions those ties are lost along the way. The people we swore we would always stay in touch with and for a time did. Eventually though the phone calls and emails became less frequent, the occasional text became an annual ‘Happy Birthday’ and ‘Maybe this year we can get together’ text. And eventually those seem to be forgotten over time as well. Sometimes we think of them and wonder how they are doing, but rarely do anything to find out. Is it because we have changed too much or are we afraid old connections will remind of us who we once were? It could be we are ashamed of the promises we broke to one another…the no matter what’s and I’ll always be here’s. Or maybe, sadly, we are afraid they never think of us or the friendships we had and those promises we made.
I have an old friend I recently dreamt of for no obvious reason and then had them on the mind. I considered trying to look them up just to say hello and see how they are doing. I didn’t. I didn’t for all those reasons. I didn’t because I’m not the same person I was years ago (although I can’t imagine they have changed). I didn’t because I am afraid to be reminded too much of the girl I was then compared to who I am now (I may not be the person I thought I would be…). I didn’t because I am ashamed of the promises I broke to always be there (because I wasn’t). I didn’t because of the fear that I am also a ‘forgotten friend’.
” True friendship is like a rose: we don’t realize it’s beauty until it fades” – E. Loeb